It's Called A Filter. Sometimes I lack it.

The following gChat just happened. It proves, once and for all, I am a master of segues. That's just how it goes with me. One moment you're talking about dudes with a fear of commitment and then BOOM, vomit story!


E: either she'll say yes
or she'll say no and it will be over
the dithering... that's bad

me: yes
shit or get off the damn pot

E: i was like "she won't care if there are diamonds that you are in michigan"

me: hahaha
true. for each diamond you get one "get out of jail free" card.
one diamond? you get to go to michigan and she won't care
two? michigan AND you can drunkenly mention that her best friend is hot and she can't get mad
and so forth...

E: haha

me: you must have been restraining yourself from just yelling it

E: i know

me: i had that situation today. but I didn't restrain myself
on the way home this woman was on the train with her kid
and the kid starts to puke EVERYWHERE
and not just once. like again and again and again.
so we get to the next stop, and she tries to stay on the train
and a woman says "ma'am, maybe you better get off until he feels better." and she says, no, I'd rather not."

E: really?

me: and I just look up and say very calmly "Miss. Your boy just vomited on my shoes. I like these shoes. You should get off the train. Like right now."
and away they went!
and now my sneakers are in the washing machine..

E: the pumas?


Yes. Well not my Pumas, my Converse. Which sucks as I hardly wear them and I was trying to change that. That wee little bastard and his regurgitated GoGurt. One, what kind of mom lets a kid have a GoGurt at 7:30am? Two, what the hell is GoGurt?